As the recession in 2008 and 2009 worsened, families began to see their financial situation suffer.Unemployment rates were climbing to their highest since the early 1980s and the number of home foreclosures was steadily increasing. At the same time, domestic violence (DV) agencies were reporting an increase in calls from women in need.
This increase, unfortunately, should not have been a surprise. According to the National Network to End Domestic Violence, domestic violence is actually three times more likely to occur when a couple is experiencing high financial stresses versus low financial stresses. Women whose male partners experienced two or more periods of unemployment in a five year timespan are almost three times as likely to to be victims of DV as opposed to women whose partners are in stable jobs.
Stress Causes Violence
When people are experiencing stress, they have a more difficult time controlling their anger. Anxiety activates the fight or flight response, and while it doesn’t necessarily cause “fighting,” it can cause other types of violence and aggression. When someone is experiencing anxiety or stress in the workplace, or in other parts of their life, their anger is building up (probably from feeling helpless) and it tends to be released at home. The CalmClinic has more information on how to control anger and an interesting anxiety assessment.
Domestic Violence Affects Anyone
DV affects all socioeconomic levels throughout our society. After the 2008 recession, many people lost their jobs or a significant portion of their assets, and with that stress came the violence. Almost everyone was experiencing some level of financial stress, so most domestic violence shelters were reporting that as the reason for the increase.
If You Are Being Abused
If you are being abused, the first thing to know is that you are not alone and the abuse is not your fault. Safety and support are critical if you are in an abusive relationship.
It is also important to become financially independent so that you can leave quickly and not rely on your partner for survival.
- Obtain your credit report and monitor it regularly.
- Open a P.O. box and have all your financial information sent to that address if you are receiving it before you leave.
- Call your utility companies, phone company, cable company, and anyone else that would have personal financial information to secure it with a special PIN and passwords. Ask the companies to use identifying information other than your social security number, date of birth, or mother’s maiden name.
- Change all ATM PINs and passwords and your email passwords.
- Make the necessary changes to your insurance plans and will
Tim Dimoff is an Expert on Rage
Tim Dimoff, author of Life Rage, is an expert on anxiety and rage. Call him today at 330-255-1101 to ask about speaking to your group or ordering his book.
Rage appears in every aspect of today’s society, especially in competitive situations. Kids have learned to be extremely competitive from everything from sports and video games, and with it brings potential rage. Even dodgeball is being removed from schools for the kids acting too aggressively. But what has lead to this issue?
Adoration of Athletes
Athletes are some of our country’s biggest superstars, being paid millions of dollars to win. There were almost 20 million viewers for the NBA Finals in 2015, while an astonishing 115 million people tuned in to watch Super Bowl XLIX this year. Everyone watches what happens on the field, but unfortunately we also hear what happens off the field as well.
Players let their rage carry over to their everyday lives. In 2014, there were 542 arrests or citations in sports. Over 60% of violent crimes in the NFL are domestic violence. While these are being reported, the public still sees no result. There were 48 players being investigated by the NFL for domestic violence between 2000 and 2014 and 15% of the players were suspended for only one game. An astounding 56% of those players were not suspended at all.
When kids watch sports and hear about athletes not being punished for their crimes, they get society’s message. Winning is more important than being a good person. Commit all the crimes you want, get as angry and violent as you want, keep winning and you’ll still make millions of dollars.
Parent Rage in Sports
When kids turn off the TV and go to their sporting events, they don’t receive a different message. Parents are notorious for being extremely competitive and yelling on the sidelines. A father of a Pony league football player was arrested for assaulting a referee who claimed the boy caught the ball out of bounds. In Alaska, military police were called to stop a parents’ brawl at a kids’ football game. Some children sports leagues have even required parents wishing to attend the games to take an ethics class.
When children see their parents acting with rage on the sideline, they don’t know it’s unacceptable. All they know is winning is everything and you should do anything you can to win. This brings out more violence and injuries in the games with no consequences for them when they get home.
Focus on the Fun
Sports can be a wonderful, fun experience with many good messages. They teach kids how to be team players, how to step up as a leader, and provides them friends for a lifetime. Instead of getting so caught up in winning and being the best, we as a society should focus more on the players and making them into the best people they can be. Then, when they reach a professional level, whether it’s in sports or in a workplace, they can enjoy their time on the field.
Life Rage Can Help You Control Your Rage
Tim Dimoff, an expert on rage, can speak to your group about ways rage is strongly linked to unhealthy competitiveness in sports. Give him a call at 330-255-1101 to book him as a speaker or order your copy of Life rage today!
On Wednesday, June 17, another tragic shooting occurred. Many people were attending a Bible study in Charleston, South Carolina at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church when it was stopped short by Dylann Roof. He attended the meeting for an hour before he stood up, muttered that he was there to shoot black people, and then opened fire on the congregation. He killed nine people, including Pastor and State Senator Clementa Pinckney. Roof was arrested and charged a day later.
5 Weary Warning Signs
It is clear that Roof was very disturbed, and there were unfortunately many warning signs that went unreported. First of all, he frequently wore a No. 88 shirt, had 88 Facebook friends, and drew the number, the white supremacist code for “Heil Hitler” in the sand.
His website was discovered where he discussed his views in a 2,500 word manifesto. It also included sixty pictures of him at different Confederate heritage sites or slavery museums. In the manifesto, he discussed his view on the Trayvon Martin case which triggered his racist rage. “The event that truly awakened me was the Trayvon Martin case. I kept hearing and seeing his name, and eventually I decided to look him up. I read the Wikipedia article and right away I was unable to understand what the big deal was. It was obvious that Zimmerman was in the right. But more importantly this prompted me to type in the words ‘black on White crime’ into Google, and I have never been the same since that day.”
A lot of his writings speak to this black on white crime, which is common in white supremacists. They demonize blacks so that they position themselves as the victims as proof that they need their own state.
Beyond his website, Roof also showed a lot of signs in public. On his Facebook page, he has a picture where he is wearing a jacket with images of the flags of apartheid-era South Africa, and Rhodesia, the African country that was renamed Zimbabwe after white rule ended. He also recently told one of his friends that black people were taking over the world and something needed to be done for the white race. Roof also was reported to have said that he wanted to start another civil war.
For his birthday, his parents gave him $350 towards the purchase of a gun. He even specifically wanted them to give him the money rather than buy it for him so they wouldn’t be implicated in whatever he would do with it.
Reporting Suspicious Behavior Saves Lives
According to Author Timothy Dimoff, if Roof’s friends or family members had reported this behavior to law enforcement, lives could have been saved. It is critical that if anyone notices suspicious behavior like this, they report it to their law enforcement agency in their jurisdiction.
Once it is reported, the police are able to come out and speak with the person. Just this action alone is a great diffusing technique. It shows them that their behavior is no longer their secret and they don’t have full control of the situation.
If there is any indication of a plan, the law enforcement can get help for the individual. They also can perform surveillance, notify others, and speak with the family. The law enforcement agency will work to diffuse any situation before it occurs, saving lives and tragedies from happening.
We hope that these times bring unity to our country and that we are able to move beyond the violence and focus on recovery. If you have questions, please feel free to contact Tim Dimoff at firstname.lastname@example.org for better ways to handle such rage.
Have you ever looked around your office and noticed if the managers are primarily men? Are the clerical workers predominantly women? What’s the nonwhite to white ratio of employees? These observations go unnoticed in the day-to-day work environment, but addressing these issues is the only way to lead to change.
What is Hidden Bias?
Today, racism, sexism and/or homophobia are not typically as vocally apparent or present. Instead, hidden biases are what dominate the workplace. This type of discrimination appears in the unconscious level based on upbringing, identity, culture, and mass media and it shapes the way you view people and how you behave towards them.
Having hidden biases does not make you a bad person, since everyone has them. It’s uncomfortable to acknowledge this, but recognizing the lens you look through helps you step away and notice how you treat people that are different from you. These differences could include a number of characteristics, such as:
- height and weight,
- introversion and extroversion,
- marital status,
- disability status,
- foreign accents,
- hobbies and extracurricular activities,
- sexual identity,
- gender identity and
- expression, race, ethnicity, and many others.
Hidden Bias Can Lead to a Tough Work Environment
But how do these hidden biases lead to a non-diverse work environment? Well, think about the hiring process. In interviews, one of the main objectives is for the two people to connect and see whether they would be a good fit in the company. This “connection” though is most easily achieved when discussing similarities. This could be that they attended the same university, are from the same hometown, or their kids play the same sport. This connection makes the person to appear like they would be a good cultural fit, because the HR employee fits in the company well. But with this phenomenon consistently occurring, and people recruiting similar people, the company becomes very homogeneous.
Another element in this issue occurs even before the interview. A study from the National Bureau of Economic Research shows that resumes with “white-sounding” names receive 50% more callbacks than those with “black-sounding” names. This could be an intentional decision decided by whoever is doing the hiring. This also could be as simple as the HR person who is making the calls is Caucasian and is uncomfortable with pronouncing unfamiliar names, so they gravitate toward easily pronounced names. Whatever reason, there needs to be a way of eliminating this issue. Many companies are conducting “blind” reviews of resumes by removing them of any identifying information, like name and gender.
Most recruiters and HR managers are taught to avoid acting differently around people based on obvious traits like gender or age. But these hidden biases are harder to recognize. Does a married man makes him appear more stable? Does the applicant speak with a Southern accent, making her appear not very smart? Is she a single mother, making her appear unreliable? These unconscious observations based what society and mass media have dictated are a big cause in not having diversity in the workplace.
Harvard performed IAT tests (take them here) that showed that certain words like “men” and “career” are closely related. Also, 75% of the participants, including some black individuals, displayed an implicit preference of white people over black people. It also showed that people prefer thin people over overweight people, heterosexuals over homosexuals, and young over old people. People make snap judgements based on these biases without even realizing and it is hurting the workplace.
Having these kinds of biases, and not having diversity in the workplace, can unfortunately lead to workplace bullying. Things like constantly being interrupted in meetings, all your opinions being shot down, and people gossipping about you are all examples that create a hostile work environment for the employee.
But why is this a result of hidden bias? Because people are uncomfortable when they experience people who are different from them. They use the societal norms that they are taught and unconsciously label anyone different from them as strange.
In fact, a study at Stanford looked at people who are transgender in the workplace to look at their experiences before and after transitioning. The transmen all had similar experiences. When they identified as women, people constantly asked them to defend their opinions. They were interrupted in meetings, and asked if their boyfriends helped them solve the tough math problems. When they identified as men, however, people (who didn’t know they had transitioned) suddenly started respecting them more. They were “taking charge” instead of “aggressive,” they were not interrupted in meetings anymore, and they were shown a lot more respect.
It’s hard to believe that even today, such biased actions and bullying occurs in the workplace. It’s our job as a corporate environment to not sit along the sidelines. By acknowledging our differences and limitations, we can begin to work towards a more diverse, welcoming workplace environment.
Life Rage & Tim Dimoff Can Help
An expert on workplace bullying, Tim can help your organization put an end to this issue. Give him a call at 330-255-1101 to ask him to speak to before your corporation, organization or church. Or preview a chapter of the Life Rage and order it today!
It seems that school shootings are all too often in the news, and teen depression statistics and rates of suicide are going up. But are these two issues linked?
To first answer this question, depression needs to be defined. Depression is an illness that interferes with the person’s ability to function. It creates a feeling that no one understands them and that they are alone. According to the National Comorbidity Survey-Adolescent Supplement, 11% of adolescents have a depressive disorder by the age of 18. Depression is a prominent illness among teens, and it greatly affects their everyday lives.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death among people between the ages of 10-24. There are about 4,600 lives lost each year and about 157,000 people receive medical care from emergency rooms for self-inflicted injuries.
The statistics for teen depression are bad, but does it really lead to rage and violence? The answer: Yes.
It might appear that rage would disappear with onset depression. However, according to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, one in three depressed people are also openly hostile. Additionally, many depressed people will have “anger attacks” where their heart rate increases, they begin to sweat, and they get a tightness in their chest in response to even small irritations. More than 60% of people who have these anger attacks have reported that they have physically or verbally attacked others during this fit of rage.
What Causes This Depression and Rage?
There are a number of factors that cause teen depression. Bullying is one of the leading instigators of this issue. Tim Dimoff highlights this in Life Rage (pages 47-48)
Bullying is repeated and aggressive systematic behavior that deliberately causes physical or psychological intimidation and torment. It can take the form of taunting and name-calling, intimidation and psychological aggression, as well as vandalism of personal property, and even gestures.
Why do kids bully? This is a culture that values strength, control and power, and especially power over others. In sports, in corporations, in the media, we reward winners… Bullies have learned the lesson of the importance of power, at least, and they are aggressive not in response to a situation but rather regardless of circumstances.
Tim also discusses violence in society as a cause of depression and rage (pages 51-52).
The public health community agrees that 30 years of research show that entertainment violence leads to increases in aggressive attitudes, values and behavior, especially in kids, and that video games are the most severe stimuli of all TV shows, music and movies.
Many kids see violent images–whether in the movies or on the news, whether in a natural disaster or a man-made one–and they are not affected. But when the images of violence become the norm and occur over and over with increasing regularity, on news coverage that goes on 24/7, it tends to overwhelm some of the more fragile kids.
What to Look For
If you notice that someone is continuously feeling sad, has lost pleasure in usual fun activities, poor school performance, or more risk-taking behavior, they could be suffering from depression. Talk to their teachers, parents, or friends to see if they have noticed any changes and to ask them to watch out. It is so important to help this person and encourage them to receive a mental health evaluation and treatment. Helping them could save a life, maybe even more.
Contact Timothy A. Dimoff for More Information on Life Rage
Fill out our Life Rage contact form to have Tim come out and speak to your school about the link between teenagers and Life Rage. You can also order an autographed copy of his book for $20 via this form. Contact Tim today!