Blog Post by De-de Mulligan
I once dated a man who had real anger issues – he could be sweet and kind about 90% of the time but it was that 10% that did us in. He could not solve a stressful, complex issue without getting into some sort of rage – whether it was yelling into the phone, screaming at his daughter or getting mad at his fellow co-workers. And of course, a few times the wrath came upon me, upon which I promptly ended the relationship.
But what causes someone to get that angry and over things that a normal person wouldn’t react that severely to? And what should you do if you are that type of person?
If You Find Yourself Getting Angry…
…Keep a cool head. Try and move away from the situation and count to 10, 100 or whatever works for you.
…Recognize your triggers. Everyone has certain past events or people that will move them to anger. A phone call from your ex who knows just where to dig or an employee who unwittingly does something “wrong”. When you start to see red, ask yourself if this is about the person in front of you or something in your past. If it is the latter, excuse yourself and move away from the incident.
…Determine if you were raised in an angry household. The man I dated was raised in an environment of constant criticisms and arguments. Not surprising, he and his ex-wife also constantly argued. I wasn’t raised that way and found the arguing to be problematic. He thought it was “normal”.
…Ask if you are really hurt, depressed or grief-ridden. Sometimes our anger is really a function of hurt. Being hurt is okay and it is best to own that feeling especially if you were fired from a job, bullied at work or went through a divorce. People understand hurt, they don’t understand or appreciate anger.
…Develop an anger management plan. What are you going to do if you get angry? Especially on the road, in an airplane or in the office. Sometimes you just can’t walk away from the situation because you are stuck in a plane, car or meeting.
…If you can, walk away. Nothing stops the anger faster than removing yourself from the situation.
…Slow down your breathing. Try and meditate if you can.
...Seek professional help. Sometimes the anger is so close to the surface, you need a licensed professional to work through the pain. Having someone help you find the source of your anger can be invaluable to establishing great relationships in the future.
The truth of the matter is we all get angry sometimes. This is a normal process of life – but most get through it by expressing it, talking about it and moving on.
Read Life Rage for More Ideas on Anger Management
Life Rage has great ideas about ways to manage your anger – no matter where you are. Order your book today by calling author Timothy A. Dimoff at 330-255-1101 Monday through Friday between the hours of 8 am to 5 PM. It is an invaluable resource to handle rage within yourself, as well as, dealing with others.
Even though I don’t have a title in the book called “Celebrity Rage” – I’m thinking I should.
Last week, comedian Russell Brand tried to help out fellow renters in London who are concerned about uncontrollable rent options that might push them out of their homes. And while this is commendable, Brand flew into a rage when a TV reporter suggested he was part of the problem because he can afford a home that has a rental fee about 4 times higher than the people he was trying to help.
He called the reporter “snide” and followed up with this comment trying to justify his behavior, “I’m so easily wound up. I’m a volatile person – I was a drug addict for a long time and I have very, very strong feelings.”
Brand who is estimated to be worth $14 million lives in a chic location of London and is paying around $8,000 a month for rent. With the national wage in England being around $3,100 per month, Brand’s rent would be way out range with the people he was trying to help.
So why was Russell really there?
It turns out he recently wrote a book titled Revolution and I think he wanted to tie the book’s theme to this cause. But when asked about his own living arrangements, he pointed his finger at the reporter and said this fight was not about him and his rental situation was none of the reporter’s business. He ended the interview and called the reporter a snide.
How Could This Been Handled More Effectively?
It turns out that Brand grew up poor and was raised by a single mother. He could relate to the cause of the renters, because he lived their life growing up. But he never got to tell his story – because he and the reporter became fixated on who Brand is now.
Here are ways famous people can avoid Celebrity Rage:
- Be Transparent.
When the reporter asked Russell what his rent was, he should have told him and followed up with the following statement, “So you are probably wondering why I care about this cause. I grew up in a neighborhood just like this one and saw people evicted every day due to rent increases. I want to do my part to help stop this sort of injustice.”
- Don’t Make Excuses.
No one buys that because he is an addict, he can’t control his emotions. If a celebrity loses it, on camera or off, it would be nice for them to say they are sorry for their actions.
- Use your talent for the good of the order.
Promoting your book through this cause was all wrong. If you want to support something, do it for the right reasons – not as a promotional stunt that will make you even richer.
Want More Information About Life Rage?
Please consider calling Author Timothy Dimoff at 330-255-1101 and securing your copy of the book. He is available to travel nationally to help organizations, schools and churches stop Life Rage. Call Tim today for more information!
It is said that Thanksgiving is the busiest time to fly. And this year, with less choices and longer delays, there are bound to be incidents of Air Rage. The biggest problem is while many passengers are wading through delays, cancellations or re-routes, the airline attendants aren’t ever so concerned about the impact it has on the passenger’s plans for a highly anticipated weekend.
While you can’t control what the FAA, airlines and attendants do regarding regulations and your flight, there are some strategic things you can do to avoid Air Rage and get you to your destination on time. Below are a few ideas outlined in Timothy A. Dimoff’s book Life Rage on pages 130-131.
5 Ways to Avoid Air Rage
- If you have not made your flight arrangements yet, consider using secondary airports.
Yes, it is hard to obtain a direct flight from a secondary airport such as Akron-Canton, but the airport is less congested, parking is cheaper and flights generally take off on time.
- If you flight is cancelled or severally delayed, consider alternative transportation.
If you are just a few hours from your destination and your second leg flight just cancelled, look at renting a car, grabbing a Megabus pass or getting on Amtrak. If it looks like in the best case scenario you could get there faster with alternative transportation, book it. After all you have turkey to eat and relatives to see.
- Listen carefully to all announcements.
One of the reasons individuals launch into Air Rage is because they did not listen to what was being said by the flight attendant and/or pilot. Listen carefully and ask questions if you need clarification. However, sometimes the attendant doesn’t have all the facts, so stay calm and continue to ask questions periodically.
- If you are in the airplane, be considerate of other passengers.
One of the other factors in air rage, is the lack of simple manners. Even though seating is cramped and kids may be fussy and anxious, just remember it is only for a short period of time. Put your headphones on and listen to music or try and sleep. Count to 10 or read a book. Don’t escalate the problem.
- Avoid alcohol.
It is known that overuse of alcohol on a flight can cause many issues including the ability to be at your all time worst. Inhibitions are gone and individuals under the influence have a tendency to say whatever comes to mind. I was on a flight a couple of years ago where a passenger was so intoxicated and loud, he was arrested for drunk and disorderly when we landed.
Want More Information about Our Book Life Rage?
If you would like more tips on how to handle any type of rage, please order Life Rage by calling Tim’s office at 330-255-1101 or send Tim an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. For up-to-the-minute updates about Life Rage, please follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Tim is also available to travel nationally to speak on this topic to businesses and associations.
Yesterday, a road rage incident happened in Sarasota, Florida where two men exchanged words in at an intersection, pulled into a nearby parking lot, got out of their cars and started beating on each other. One man had a knife and pulled it out. He stabbed the other man in the face several times and the knife victim is currently in the hospital.
What were they arguing about? Texting!
How could this been avoided and where did this seriously go wrong?
5 Tips to Avoid Road Rage
According to Author Timothy A. Dimoff this incident could have been avoided. In his book, Life Rage, he points out several items when dealing with the other guy, which are listed on Page 117-118 of his book. Here is a synopsis:
- In this incident, the men should have never pulled over into a parking lot.
If you are that concerned about another person’s actions and it causes you road rage, call 9-1-1 immediately and report the other driver. If possible, have the make, model and license plate of the vehicle. Explain what just happened and what direction they are traveling in.
- If you are stationary, don’t get out of your car.
Sometimes, you are in the middle of a freeway with slow-moving or stationary traffic. Even if you have words with someone, don’t get out of your car! This shows an aggressive nature on your part and can escalate the situation. Again, call 9-1-1 and report the incident and use your phone to record another person’s aggressive behavior toward you.
- Don’t respond with an angry gesture.
Avoid eye contact and move your vehicle away from this situation at the earliest possible time.
- It is not your job to teach someone else how to drive.
Yes, there are a lot of bad drivers out there, but you are not going to teach them anything by “flipping them off” or yelling at them. Chances are you are just going to make them even angrier, hence the situation in Sarasota. Be calm and call the police.
In a study cited in Life Rage (page 118), 85% of the enraged drivers would have dropped the matter if the driver causing the problem would have apologized for their action. If you are in the wrong, such as texting and driving, state that you made a mistake and you are sorry for any problems it caused the other person.
Want More Information about Life Rage?
You can obtain your author-signed copy of Life Rage by calling Timothy Dimoff’s office at 330-255-1101. If you would like Tim to come out and speak about this subject to your community group or company, please contact Tim at: http://timothydimoff.com/index.html – he is also available for media interviews and webinars.
Why did this Marysville-Pilchuck High School Homecoming Prince who was very popular with fellow students, turn to gun violence the next week — killing himself, another student and injuring four others?
And is this statement really true? “Nobody expected it from him,” said fellow classmate Jordan Luton.
Watch this brief video and you be the judge School Rage: Jaylen Fryberg Scenerio.
What We Know or Think We Know About This School Shooter
Jayden Fryberg was a Native American who belonged to the Tulalip tribe. He was viewed by his tribe and schoolmates as “very nice”. Fryberg was an outdoorsman that liked to go hunting and he had access to guns.
Was He a Victim of Bullying?
However, it appears that all was not as it seemed. He got into a fight after racial slurs were said to him and was suspended from school.
His tweets said, “Your not gonna like what happens next!!!” and “It breaks me…It actually does…I know it seems like I’m sweating it off…but I’m not”.
It is difficult to determine exactly what these tweets mean and who he was targeting, however the message is clear – he was not as happy as his outward appearance looked.
This Statement Says it All
“Sadly, we are now experiencing what has become a national trend, which we as a society, must address,” stated Tulalip Indian Tribal Chief Herman Williams, Senior.
What Life Rage Says About School Rage
Author Timothy Dimoff talked about the warning signs of School Rage in his book Life Rage. He states that according to the Secret Service, a large majority of school shooters do something to attract the attention of a teacher, schoolmate or police officer well before they turn to gun violence. Here are some other facts that are sited from page 74 of Life Rage:
- School Shooters are Between 11 and 21 Years Old
- They Cross All Races and Socioeconomic Backgrounds and
- 67% Have Been Bullied Before This Incident
Life Rage also references talking to your children is vital to understanding and defusing situation like this. A great resource is a website titled Children Now.
Want More Information on School Rage and How to Solve it?
Order the Life Rage Book! Please go to our website and follow the instructions of the right side of the page. Author Timothy Dimoff will sign the book and mail it to you.
There is hope…you don’t have to let School Rage consume you!