Mar 232015
Are you a victim of workplace bullying?

Are you a victim of workplace bullying?

How many of you have experienced these situations:

  • You are in a meeting and one person constantly interrupts and/or talks over someone else. They are the focus of attention and no one can get a word in edgewise.
  • You are pitching a new idea to the team and your boss tears it apart in front of everyone and makes you feel extremely small. Internally you are frustrated and have decided to not share any more ideas with the group.
  • There is someone constantly making snide remarks in the meeting, sort of under their breath. You can hear these comments which are meant to shut you up, slow you down or discombobulate you altogether.

What do all these situations have in common? These disrupters are workplace bullies and unfortunately, they are tolerated in the workplace far too often.

Why?

Because most people, in and out of the workplace, are people pleasers who don’t want to deal with conflict and discomfort. So, what happens? A lot of triangulation, gossip and office drama. A lot of silence by team members. And a setup for workplace violence when someone “cannot take it anymore”.

7 Effective Tools To Stop Workplace Bullies

  1. Develop a code of conduct for the workplace and post it everywhere.
    Have a code for meetings, brainstorming sessions and general workplace interactions. Refer to the code when inappropriate actions occurs. If someone starts talking over another person, discounting their idea or publicly humiliating them, refer to the code.
  2. Don’t triangulate.
    Remember, workplace bullying sets up a natural “bully-victim” scenario. The victim will seek solace with anyone who will let them vent. Ask one question, “Have take your complaint directly to (the bully)?” Chances are they have not and want you to speak on their behalf. Don’t do it and don’t listen to the problems.
  3. Recognize when a spirited discussion has turned into bullying.
    When it does, turn to the code of conduct and if necessary stop the meeting altogether. Stopping the meeting removes power from the bully and says this type of behavior is unacceptable.
  4. Try to find out what the bully wants.
    Without a lot of fanfare, determine what exactly the bully wants. Try to do this over email where emotions are less likely to enter into the picture.
  5. Set up a “zero bullying” tolerance policy at work.
    They have it at school – now it needs to be brought into the workplace. Provide a safe system for employees to report bullying behavior. Leaders then need to act on it with specific consequences if it continues – including termination.
  6. Read books about ways to avoid this type of rage.
    Life Rage is one book that gives you practical solutions to solving problems like this.
  7. Bring in a trainer to address this issue.
    Everyone should receive a minimum of two hours of training per year about ways to recognize and stop workplace bullies in their track. Timothy Dimoff is available do this type of training on a national level.

Life Rage & Tim Dimoff Together Can Help Put an End to Workplace Bullying

You can preview a chapter of Life Rage and order the book online. Give Author Timothy Dimoff a call at 330-255-1101, Monday through Friday to learn more about how he can help your organization put an end this problem!

Mar 072015
Is Your Child Being Victimized?

Is Your Child Being Victimized?

Dating violence is defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors used to exercise power and control over a dating partner. However, there is an underlying common theme that violence tends to escalate over time becoming more dangerous for the one receiving the abuse. This is why teen dating violence needs more attention than it currently is garnering.

Teenage relationships can greatly impact a person’s emotional development. I will be looking into types of teenage dating abuse, symptoms and warning signs of abusive relationships, and suggestions on how to address this issue.

Dating Abuse Facts

According LoveisRespect.org, this problem is all around us:

  • Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year.
  • Approximately 70% of college students say they have been sexually coerced.
  • 33% US adolescents are a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.
  • 25% of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse.
  • 10% of high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend.

 

4 Types of Teenage Dating Abuse

Dating abuse does not discriminate and it affects all groups regardless of gender, economic status, ethnicity, and religious preference. Teens experience the same types of abuse in relationships as adults and this can include:

  • Physical Abuse- Any intentional use of force with purpose to cause fear or injury. Examples of this can be shoving, hitting, biting, strangling, kicking, or use of a weapon.
  • Verbal or Emotional Abuse- Non physical behaviors such as derogatory comments, constant monitoring, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, and stalking.
  • Sexual Abuse- Any action that impacts a person’s ability to control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including rape, coercion or restricting access to birth control.
  • Digital Abuse- Use of technologies and/or social media networking to intimidate, harass or threaten a current or ex-dating partner. This could include checking cell phones, cyber bullying, sexting, excessive or threatening texts or stalking on Facebook or other social media.

8 Warning Signs of Abuse and Symptoms

There are many warning signs of abuse, but I have chosen the 8 most common ones. It is important to address these issues early on because victims of teenage abusive relationships are at a higher risk for victimization later in life.

  1. Checking your cell phone or email without permission
  2. Constantly putting you down
  3. Extreme jealousy or insecurity
  4. Explosive temper
  5. Isolating you from family or friends
  6. Making false accusations
  7. Mood swings
  8. Physical violence

Each relationship is unique and because someone possesses one or more of these qualities does not mean they are abusive. However, be on a look out for a pattern of this type of behavior. This is when you need to be concerned for yourself or your children.

Addressing the Situation

The impact of domestic violence on children may continue through adolescence and adulthood. Teens that have grown up with violent relationships are at risk of repeating the pattern.

A crucial step in preventing teen dating abuse is to educate adolescents about how to identify abuse and build healthy relationships. In many cases, other students are the first to know about instances of abuse on and off school grounds. Educating teens about how to spot abusive relationships and what is a healthy relationship is the first step to prevention.

If you are a parent of a child that is suspected of being in an abusive relationship you must confront them about your concerns. Do this in a careful manner because adolescents are sensitive especially about their private life. Consult them as a friend not as an authoritarian parent to discover what is really going on.

Examples of abusive relationships are all around teens. From the television shows they watch to stories they read. They need to have a positive influence in their live and that starts with their parents. Children are watching their parents every action and word. Parents need to be a beacon of light for what to expect out of a relationship.

By understanding the different types of abuse and the warning signs is the first step in preventing teen dating violence.

Read Life Rage to Learn More Stopping the Violence

If you are looking to learn more about real-life solution to abusive or rage filled situations, contact Author Timothy A. Dimoff at 330-255-1101 to order your Life Rage copy!

He will sign it and ship it to you or you can come by his office between the hours of 8 am – 5 pm, Monday through Friday to obtain the book! The cost is $20 plus shipping and handling.

Tim is also available to talk to your school or parent organization about teenage violence prevention techniques.

Feb 172015
Is Anger Running and Ruining Your Life?

Is Anger Running and Ruining Your Life?

Blog Post by De-de Mulligan

I once dated a man who had real anger issues – he could be sweet and kind about 90% of the time but it was that 10% that did us in. He could not solve a stressful, complex issue without getting into some sort of rage – whether it was yelling into the phone, screaming at his daughter or getting mad at his fellow co-workers. And of course, a few times the wrath came upon me, upon which I promptly ended the relationship.

But what causes someone to get that angry and over things that a normal person wouldn’t react that severely to? And what should you do if you are that type of person?

If You Find Yourself Getting Angry…

Keep a cool head. Try and move away from the situation and count to 10, 100 or whatever works for you.

Recognize your triggers. Everyone has certain past events or people that will move them to anger. A phone call from your ex who knows just where to dig or an employee who unwittingly does something “wrong”. When you start to see red, ask yourself if this is about the person in front of you or something in your past. If it is the latter, excuse yourself and move away from the incident.

Determine if you were raised in an angry household. The man I dated was raised in an environment of constant criticisms and arguments. Not surprising, he and his ex-wife also constantly argued. I wasn’t raised that way and found the arguing to be problematic. He thought it was “normal”.

Ask if you are really hurt, depressed or grief-ridden. Sometimes our anger is really a function of hurt. Being hurt is okay and it is best to own that feeling especially if you were fired from a job, bullied at work or went through a divorce. People understand hurt, they don’t understand or appreciate anger.

Develop an anger management plan. What are you going to do if you get angry? Especially on the road, in an airplane or in the office. Sometimes you just can’t walk away from the situation because you are stuck in a plane, car or meeting.

If you can, walk away. Nothing stops the anger faster than removing yourself from the situation.

Slow down your breathing. Try and meditate if you can.

...Seek professional help. Sometimes the anger is so close to the surface, you need a licensed professional to work through the pain. Having someone help you find the source of your anger can be invaluable to establishing great relationships in the future.

The truth of the matter is we all get angry sometimes. This is a normal process of life – but most get through it by expressing it, talking about it and moving on.

Read Life Rage for More Ideas on Anger Management

Life Rage has great ideas about ways to manage your anger – no matter where you are. Order your book today by calling author Timothy A. Dimoff at 330-255-1101 Monday through Friday between the hours of 8 am to 5 PM. It is an invaluable resource to handle rage within yourself, as well as, dealing with others.

Dec 042014

Is Russell Brand Exhibiting Celebrity Rage?

Even though I don’t have a title in the book called “Celebrity Rage” – I’m thinking I should.

Last week, comedian Russell Brand tried to help out fellow renters in London who are concerned about uncontrollable rent options that might push them out of their homes. And while this is commendable, Brand flew into a rage when a TV reporter suggested he was part of the problem because he can afford a home that has a rental fee about 4 times higher than the people he was trying to help.

He called the reporter “snide” and followed up with this comment trying to justify his behavior, “I’m so easily wound up. I’m a volatile person – I was a drug addict for a long time and I have very, very strong feelings.”

Really Russell?

Brand who is estimated to be worth $14 million lives in a chic location of London and is paying around $8,000 a month for rent. With the national wage in England being around $3,100 per month, Brand’s rent would be way out range with the people he was trying to help.

So why was Russell really there?

It turns out he recently wrote a book titled Revolution and I think he wanted to tie the book’s theme to this cause. But when asked about his own living arrangements, he pointed his finger at the reporter and said this fight was not about him and his rental situation was none of the reporter’s business. He ended the interview and called the reporter a snide.

How Could This Been Handled More Effectively?

It turns out that Brand grew up poor and was raised by a single mother. He could relate to the cause of the renters, because he lived their life growing up. But he never got to tell his story – because he and the reporter became fixated on who Brand is now.

Here are ways famous people can avoid Celebrity Rage:

  1. Be Transparent.
    When the reporter asked Russell what his rent was, he should have told him and followed up with the following statement, “So you are probably wondering why I care about this cause. I grew up in a neighborhood just like this one and saw people evicted every day due to rent increases. I want to do my part to help stop this sort of injustice.”
  2. Don’t Make Excuses.
    No one buys that because he is an addict, he can’t control his emotions. If a celebrity loses it, on camera or off, it would be nice for them to say they are sorry for their actions.
  3. Use your talent for the good of the order.
    Promoting your book through this cause was all wrong. If you want to support something, do it for the right reasons – not as a promotional stunt that will make you even richer.

Want More Information About Life Rage?

Please consider calling Author Timothy Dimoff at 330-255-1101 and securing your copy of the book. He is available to travel nationally to help organizations, schools and churches stop Life Rage. Call Tim today for more information!

Nov 242014

It is said that Thanksgiving is the busiest time to fly. And this year, with less choices and longer delays, there are bound to be incidents of Air Rage. The biggest problem is while many passengers are wading through delays, cancellations or re-routes, the airline attendants aren’t ever so concerned about the impact it has on the passenger’s plans for a highly anticipated weekend.

While you can’t control what the FAA, airlines and attendants do regarding regulations and your flight, there are some strategic things you can do to avoid Air Rage and get you to your destination on time. Below are a few ideas outlined in Timothy A. Dimoff’s book Life Rage on pages 130-131.

5 Ways to Avoid Air Rage

  1. If you have not made your flight arrangements yet, consider using secondary airports.
    Yes, it is hard to obtain a direct flight from a secondary airport such as Akron-Canton, but the airport is less congested, parking is cheaper and flights generally take off on time.
  2. If you flight is cancelled or severally delayed, consider alternative transportation.
    If you are just a few hours from your destination and your second leg flight just cancelled, look at renting a car, grabbing a Megabus pass or getting on Amtrak. If it looks like in the best case scenario you could get there faster with alternative transportation, book it. After all you have turkey to eat and relatives to see.
  3. Listen carefully to all announcements.
    One of the reasons individuals launch into Air Rage is because they did not listen to what was being said by the flight attendant and/or pilot. Listen carefully and ask questions if you need clarification. However, sometimes the attendant doesn’t have all the facts, so stay calm and continue to ask questions periodically.
  4. If you are in the airplane, be considerate of other passengers.
    One of the other factors in air rage, is the lack of  simple manners. Even though seating is cramped and kids may be fussy and anxious, just remember it is only for a short period of time. Put your headphones on and listen to music or try and sleep. Count to 10 or read a book. Don’t escalate the problem.
  5. Avoid alcohol.
    It is known that overuse of alcohol on a flight can cause many issues including the ability to be at your all time worst. Inhibitions are gone and individuals under the influence have a tendency to say whatever comes to mind. I was on a flight a couple of years ago where a passenger was so intoxicated and loud, he was arrested for drunk and disorderly when we landed.

Want More Information about Our Book Life Rage?

If you would like more tips on how to handle any type of rage, please order Life Rage by calling Tim’s office at 330-255-1101 or send Tim an email at tadimoff@aol.com. For up-to-the-minute updates about Life Rage, please follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Tim is also available to travel nationally to speak on this topic to businesses and associations.

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